It is with great sadness that we announce the unexpected passing of my beloved mum, Phu Le Pham (née Phe), mother, sister, and friend. Surrounded by her family, she passed on Wednesday, February 5, 2025 at the age 68 (70 in the Lunar calendar). She leaves behind a legacy of kindness, strength, and unwavering devotion to her family.
Phu lived a storied life full of perseverance, compassion, resilience, and quite grace. She was a woman of deep love, strength, and generosity and always placed the needs of her family before her own, ensuring that her loved ones were cared for, comforted, and never left behind. Whether through her warm embrace, her wise words, or the simplest comfort of her presence and sometimes a playful swat on the bum, she had a way of making those around her feel safe and cherished, bringing cheer, joy, and smiles.
She is now reunited with her parents, sisters, brothers, and loved ones, who undoubtedly welcomed her with open arms. Though she is no longer physically with us, her love, her lessons, and her laughter will forever echo in the lives she touched.
📖🇻🇳“Chung nhau, bao giờ mẹ đi, các con chỉ còn có nhau thôi.”
“Take care of each other. You will only have each other after I’m gone.”
❤️ Rest peacefully, Mumma—your love will never fade. ❤️
💙 On This Page:
🌿 Her Early Life & Journey
Born on June 16, 1956, in Hanoi, Vietnam, Phu came into a world of both hardship and resilience. She grew up in a time of immense change, shaped by the challenges of war, poverty, and displacement. Yet, through it all, she carried with her an unbreakable spirit, an unwavering love for her family, and a determination that would define her life’s journey.
Her childhood was marked by poverty so severe that she never had the opportunity to complete her formal education, leaving school around grade 7, life became her greatest teacher and food became both her survival and her skill. She learned to cook, not just as a necessity, but as a craft—helping her mother and family put food on the table by making and selling snacks. She once showed me how she used to make Dragon’s Beard candy, pulling the delicate strands with such practiced ease. Watching her do it was awe-inspiring—one of those core memory moments that I will never forget. I only wish I had tried making it with her, even once—it would have been intensive, but so deeply satisfying.
She also spoke with fondness and sorrow about a pet pig she raised, knowing that it would only stay with her until the holiday arrived—when it would become a rare source of meat for the family. It was a small but profound lesson in survival, sacrifice, and the fleeting joys that came with childhood during those difficult times.
Phu lived through the Vietnam War, and the stories she told me of navigating through heavily bombed areas were harrowing. She spoke of rationing food, at times having nothing more than salt and rice to fill her belly. It is a reality I could hardly imagine enduring, but she lived through it, carrying those scars with quiet strength.
When the war ended, survival became an even greater battle—one that forced her to make the heart-wrenching decision to leave Vietnam behind in search of a better future. With nothing but courage, determination, and the will to survive, she embarked on a dangerous journey into the unknown.
Her multi-day refugee escape was a terrifying ordeal—setting out urgently into the open waters of the sea on a rickety wooden boat, facing violent waves, relentless seasickness, and the unbearable hunger and thirst of being stranded at sea. Many who set sail alongside her never completed the journey—some starved, others drowned, and some succumbed to the elements. But she held on. She endured.
As an ethnic Chinese refugee, she eventually arrived at the port city of Hong Kong, where she found refuge in a crowded refugee camp, living among countless others who had also fled in desperation. It was a place of both uncertainty and hope. She sought out work wherever she could, taking up jobs in factories, from working on a Coca-Cola bottling line to making fabrics. She spoke fondly of a particular boss lady at one of her jobs—a woman she admired deeply for her kindness during those difficult times.
It was in Hong Kong that she gave birth to her eldest child—me, MyLy.
Her journey did not end there. With the help of her eldest sister, she was sponsored as a refugee to Canada in 1984, where she would begin again. A new country, a new language, an entirely new life—but through it all, she remained the same: strong, resourceful, and endlessly devoted to those she loved.
🍜 Her Passion for Cooking & Family Traditions
Phu’s love language was food. She expressed her care through home-cooked meals, family gatherings, and recipes passed down through generations.
She took pride in creating delicious dishes, ensuring every birthday, holiday, and especially Tết (Vietnamese Lunar New Year) was unforgettable. Her kitchen was always filled with the warm aroma of her favourite recipes, and she delighted in watching others enjoy the meals she prepared.
She would often tell us to eat while it's hot, while she would continue to cook away in the kitchen, making sure that the dishes we ate were enjoyed at their best - hot and comforting.
Some of her most loved dishes were:
- 🍚 Cốm (Young Green Rice) – A seasonal delicacy that she cherished, often reminiscing about its fragrant aroma and delicate, unique flavor.
- 🍜 Phở Bò (Vietnamese Beef Noodle Soup) - A staple Northern Vietnamese dish that she would always prepare with love.
- 🍲 Bánh Canh Cua (Vietnamese Crab Noodle Soup) – A rich and comforting dish, always made with love and care, bringing warmth to every meal.
- 🥢 Gỏi Cuốn (Fresh Spring Rolls) – She took great pride in preparing these fresh, vibrant rolls, ensuring that each one was filled with only the best and freshest ingredients.
- 🦀 Nem Rán (Fried Crab Spring Rolls) – A luxurious and labor-intensive delicacy, where she meticulously extracted crab meat by hand to create the perfect, flavourful filling—a true labor of love.
- 🍵 Chè (Vietnamese Sweet Dessert Soup) – A sweet and nostalgic treat, which she lovingly made in various flavors, each one carrying the familiar taste of home.
She longed to return to Vietnam to have her favourite foods and treats. A wish I had really hoped I would be able to fulfill, but time ran out.
Food was more than just nourishment for her—it was a way to share joy, culture, and love.
🌸 The Small Joys That Brought Her Happiness
Beyond cooking, Phu found joy in life’s quiet, simple moments—the small, everyday things that filled her heart with comfort and peace.
- 🍀 Tending to her plants – She had a gentle touch and a deep love for nurturing life, finding solace in the vibrant greenery around her.
- 🧵 Crafting flowers from straws – A delicate expression of her creativity, turning the simplest materials into something beautiful.
- 🌺 Jasmine flowers – Their soft, sweet fragrance always brought her a sense of calm and joy.
- 📺 Watching videos about the world – Though she didn’t get to travel as much as she had dreamed, she found adventure through the stories, places, and cultures she discovered from afar.
- ☀️ Feeling the warmth of the sun – She cherished the simple pleasure of soaking in its golden rays, closing her eyes and letting the heat embrace her like a familiar comfort.
She had a way of finding peace in nature, whether it was watching the seasons change, feeling the evening breeze on her skin, or admiring a single blooming flower. She saw beauty in the world, even in the smallest things, and that quiet appreciation made life all the more meaningful.
